Never Give Up

As we begin a new year consider adding resiliency to your toolbox.  Practice the following:  

Critical mindedness helps protect against experiences of discrimination and facilitates a critique of existing social conditions.                                                                                                                                 

Active engagement includes behavior in school, at home and with peers such that people proactively and positively impact their environment.                                                                                                 

Flexibility promotes adaptation to cognitive, emotional, social and physical situational demands and can include bicultural competence or fluency across multiple cultural contexts.

Communalism includes the  importance of social bonds and duties, reflects a fundamental sense of interdependence and primacy of collective well-being, and offers the drive for connection and promotion within and across diverse groups. 

Resource: American Psychology Association

Hectic Holiday Pause

During the busyness of the holiday, take a moment to pause and connect to your inner self.  We offer these words from the Native American tradition. Hear these words:

"O Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds and whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me. I come before you, one of your children, I am small and weak, I need your strength and wisdom. Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset. Make my hands respect the things you have made, my ears sharp to hear your voice. Make me wise so that I may know the things you have taught my people, the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.  I seek strength not to be superior to my brothers but to be able to fight my greatest enemy. Make me ever ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes, so that when life fades as a fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without shame." 

Everlasting Love

Research on what makes a marriage work shows that people in a good marriage have completed these psychological "tasks":

Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.

·        Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner's autonomy.

·        Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations.

·        For couples with children, embrace the daunting roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby's entrance into the marriage. Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse as a couple.

·        Confront and master the inevitable crises of life.

·        Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity. The marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are able to express their differences, anger and conflict.

·        Use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation.

·        Nurture and comfort each other, satisfying each partner's needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support.

·        Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time.                                                                                           Resource: Judith Wallerstein, "The Good Marriage"

Tell It!

We all have a story to tell about good times and not so good times, searches for answers, victory over heartache, and discovering bliss.

Telling your story
builds trust,
overcomes doubt,
prompts action,
converts,
transforms,
Inspires
and marks the way for those walking a similar path.

Tell your story today.

Rising Above Loss to Life

Throughout history human have been concerned with their mortality.   We are fascinated with death.  Death aroused anxiety, hope, clarity and inspiration. The deeper message to consider today – we have all experienced physical and spiritual losses of friends, dreams, health, children, spouses, homes, jobs.  These losses can make us feel close to death.  The good news is that we can rise above our losses and choose life.

We choose life when we grieve.  We grieve when we

1.search,

2. run,

3. embrace despair,

4. weep,

5. reorganize,

6. let go and

7. visit.

Source: Grief, Dying and Death;  John 20:1-18

Searching for a Real Love

James Sama wrote an article about love that is worthy of repeating this day. He states, “I believe one of the most important things we can teach our self, family, friends and neighbors in what love truly looks like". People who hurt and lie to you do not truly love you. We cannot allow decent human beings to continue remaining in relationships like this while believing it is normal or right. 

Real love: 

1.      Shows respect

2.       Is direct

3.      Will trust you

4.      Let you do you

Pledge to treat others with real love.

Source: James Sama, 1 John 4:7-21

Praising Answered Prayers

This month I was made aware of people who choose not to receive gifts.  I was introduced to people who do not know how to receive. How well we receive determines how happy we are. The goal is to let go of any kind of judgment when you give so you free yourself from any projected judgments that are keeping you from receiving. 

What may help is to focus on the intention and love of the giver that motivated that gift, offer or that sincere compliment.  Believing them, accepting it and saying thank you.  Being grateful for what you have received makes the giver happy because it says you appreciate the time and effort that person has given you.  Giving is important yet we can also learn to accept blessings gratefully. Once the door to receiving is open, imagine how many gifts are waiting for you.

Source: Janice Pascual, Psalm 98