Hectic Holiday Pause

During the busyness of the holiday, take a moment to pause and connect to your inner self.  We offer these words from the Native American tradition. Hear these words:

"O Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds and whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me. I come before you, one of your children, I am small and weak, I need your strength and wisdom. Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset. Make my hands respect the things you have made, my ears sharp to hear your voice. Make me wise so that I may know the things you have taught my people, the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.  I seek strength not to be superior to my brothers but to be able to fight my greatest enemy. Make me ever ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes, so that when life fades as a fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without shame." 

Everlasting Love

Research on what makes a marriage work shows that people in a good marriage have completed these psychological "tasks":

Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.

·        Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner's autonomy.

·        Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations.

·        For couples with children, embrace the daunting roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby's entrance into the marriage. Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse as a couple.

·        Confront and master the inevitable crises of life.

·        Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity. The marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are able to express their differences, anger and conflict.

·        Use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation.

·        Nurture and comfort each other, satisfying each partner's needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support.

·        Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time.                                                                                           Resource: Judith Wallerstein, "The Good Marriage"

Tell It!

We all have a story to tell about good times and not so good times, searches for answers, victory over heartache, and discovering bliss.

Telling your story
builds trust,
overcomes doubt,
prompts action,
converts,
transforms,
Inspires
and marks the way for those walking a similar path.

Tell your story today.

Rising Above Loss to Life

Throughout history human have been concerned with their mortality.   We are fascinated with death.  Death aroused anxiety, hope, clarity and inspiration. The deeper message to consider today – we have all experienced physical and spiritual losses of friends, dreams, health, children, spouses, homes, jobs.  These losses can make us feel close to death.  The good news is that we can rise above our losses and choose life.

We choose life when we grieve.  We grieve when we

1.search,

2. run,

3. embrace despair,

4. weep,

5. reorganize,

6. let go and

7. visit.

Source: Grief, Dying and Death;  John 20:1-18

Searching for a Real Love

James Sama wrote an article about love that is worthy of repeating this day. He states, “I believe one of the most important things we can teach our self, family, friends and neighbors in what love truly looks like". People who hurt and lie to you do not truly love you. We cannot allow decent human beings to continue remaining in relationships like this while believing it is normal or right. 

Real love: 

1.      Shows respect

2.       Is direct

3.      Will trust you

4.      Let you do you

Pledge to treat others with real love.

Source: James Sama, 1 John 4:7-21

Praising Answered Prayers

This month I was made aware of people who choose not to receive gifts.  I was introduced to people who do not know how to receive. How well we receive determines how happy we are. The goal is to let go of any kind of judgment when you give so you free yourself from any projected judgments that are keeping you from receiving. 

What may help is to focus on the intention and love of the giver that motivated that gift, offer or that sincere compliment.  Believing them, accepting it and saying thank you.  Being grateful for what you have received makes the giver happy because it says you appreciate the time and effort that person has given you.  Giving is important yet we can also learn to accept blessings gratefully. Once the door to receiving is open, imagine how many gifts are waiting for you.

Source: Janice Pascual, Psalm 98

Recharging Energetic Power

Do you feel hopeless and tired?  Do you feel drained, joyless or anxious?  Your body and soul maybe exhausted this season. Experts call this emotional or spiritual fatigue.  Stillness is a simple way to replenish your emotional and spiritual energy. What does stillness look like?

1.      Rest. Just sit still or recline in your favorite chair.

2.      Laugh with friends. Pick up the phone and call a funny friend or watch a comedy show.

3.      Reconnect with nature.  Visit your back yard or a neighborhood park for a walk.

4.      Use touch.  A handshake, hug, massage or pat on the back will help.

Source: Psychology Today, Romans 8:14-28

Connecting to Your Inner Moma

Did you experience emotional, psychological or physical neglect as a child.  We want to blame our parents, yet now that we are adults we are responsible for raising ourselves.  Our parents or guardians may not have fulfilled all or any of our needs but you can.  How do you connect to your inner moma?

1.      Loyalty that is faithful to yourself and others.

2.      Humility that understands weaknesses and the ability to overcome.

3.      Dependability to rely and trust yourself.

The benefits include greater happiness, optimism, creativity, stronger relationships, acceptance, forgiveness, and confidence just to name a few.

Source: Psychology Today, 2 Timothy 1

Taking the High Road

“When they go low, we go high” is sound advice from Michelle Obama. Those of us who take the high road feel like we are banging our heads against the wall over and over again.  It gets old and frustrating.  What are you suppose to do?

1.      Feel and Act.  Name your feelings so you can react positively.

2.      Breathe. Pause and calm down.

3.      Practice Compassion. Be kind.

When you take the high road you feel good and nothing fazes you. You respond to your haters with patience, understanding and humor.

Source: Huffington Post, Psychology Today, Mark 2:23-3:6

Women Wonder About Our Secret

 

We salute all the phenomenal women, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, warriors, goddess and friends. 

Loving Resilience

Someone asked me the other day if I realized I was resilient.  Never thought about it until now.  What a way to love yourself! Remember to love yourself this month.

What We Can Do Now

As e celebrate the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. consider and oppose how people of color are relentlessly and routinely made the "other" by being dismissed, deemed invisible or denied humanity. Source: Tears We Cannot Stop, Michael Eric Dyson