Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.
·
Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy
and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner's
autonomy.
·
Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual
relationship and protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family
obligations.
·
For couples with children, embrace the daunting
roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby's entrance into the
marriage. Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your
spouse as a couple.
·
Confront and master the inevitable crises of
life.
·
Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the
face of adversity. The marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are
able to express their differences, anger and conflict.
·
Use humor and laughter to keep things in
perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation.
·
Nurture and comfort each other, satisfying each
partner's needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and
support.
·
Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images
of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by
time. Resource: Judith Wallerstein, "The Good Marriage"
